In 1986 my Mom, twin brothers and I were finally starting to get on our feet. Mom was getting steady work at the temp agency, my 16 year old brothers were typical teenagers but overall well adjusted and my personal training business was moving right along. Overall for the first time since I could ever remember we were happy. Then I received a phone call I will never forget. Mom called me and the first thing she said in a very deliberate tone of voice: Larry I don’t want you to worry. I knew my Mom all to well, we had been through much adversity together, as a boy I was a little man stuck in side a young little body. My heart immediately sank to my stomach. A tear began to roll down my cheek before she had even uttered another word. I just knew and she knew that I knew. She said; Son the Doctor says I have breast Cancer. While we didn’t have much we most certainly had each other. My Mom had been through hell and back. Like many single parents, she threw her life on the railroad tracks for the sake of her kids. Now this! To make matters worse we had no health insurance no money and no family or friends to turn to for help. She had always looked at me for strength and this was no time to show weakness.

Ironically Beverly ( Mom ) had baby sat for an entire month for a women named Nancy Brinker. This woman was and is truly a remarkable person. She started the Komen foundation which has raised millions of dollars, used to help cause major advances in breast cancer and breast cancer awareness. Remember this was over 23 years ago and so much has happened since then. Mrs. Brinker helped my mom get admitted into the city hospital. She then followed up daily pre and post surgery. With all she has done in her life she probably doesn’t remember her life saving generosity but I will never forget her.  When my mom went in for her mastectomy I had experienced an emotional breakdown. To this day I never shared that with anyone. The thought of losing her literally brought me to my knees.

I’m more than happy to share with you that she is a 23 year survivor who hardly a day ever goes by that we don’t speak to each other and end each conversation with an I love you. She is also one of the most positive and appreciative person I have ever known. She probably has never earned more than 30K in a given year sometimes working 2 and 3 jobs just to put food on the table yet in my eyes she is a massive success. In another strange twist of fate I ended up becoming close with Norm Brinker, who is an iconic figure in business and in the restaurant industry. He was a role model and mentor. He recently passed but will forever be remembered for all his great work and generosity.

My father was a different story. He smoked from morning till night, as an adult he ate like a child. His diet consisted of candy, hot dogs and junk food. His behavior and lifestyle led him to have migraine headaches, bleeding ulcers, high blood pressure and swallowing hand fulls of narcotics and barbiturates daily. As he would say other than that he was in good health. He never learned to swim or ride a bike. The only time I ever saw him run was if we were parked outside the horse racing track and the announcer said just 1 minute, 1 minute left until post time. He flew like a rocket to go place his bet. In the early years I spent much time with my father Irv. After all I was a boy and he was my dad. No one will ever question his love for me and visa versa. However as I grew older and wiser and when the time came to make the “Great escape” at age 16, I didn’t hesitate to help uproot our lives, leave him for good and start a new life. A better life, a life that we deserved and were determined to have. As a father and son we became estranged out of necessity and as time when on we eventually became communicative. He settled down in a town he was once banned from, Las Vegas. He had a legitimate job driving a cab and for the first time in his life appeared to be OK.

On a summer day in 1992 he called me and with his thick deep Brooklyn accent and said; Kid the ball game is finally over for me. I have prostate cancer! I’m like dad that is treatable with a huge success rate. He says Kid it has already spread to my bones, its over, I’m done! Finished! He waited so long before going to the Doctor that the cancer had spread throughout his body. He was apparently in much pain. He had attempted suicide in the past. I actually wondered if this delay in seeking help was actually purposeful. However when a person is denied something they then want it more than ever. My lack of trust in him even had me contemplating that he was seeking sympathy and planning on hitting me up for money to gamble with. That notion quickly evaporated because like my mom I knew him all to well. This was serious. My brother and I went to Vegas to bring him back to Dallas. His biggest fear in life was to die broke and alone. Neither of which would end up happening. His Doctor gave him less than a month to live and he ended up living for another 11 months. He was stronger than anyone gave him credit for including me. For the first time in his adult life he actually wanted to live. Those 11 month allowed for much emotional heeling, much forgiveness and allowed for Irv to maintain his dignity as a man and a father. Even my mom along with her loving heart helped tremendously through the process. At 63 he felt he was dieing prematurely. He was. His cancer was very treatable but he waited to long to seek help. As I look back I only wished he could have lived long enough to see the success and happiness his sons have achieved.

This was a very personal story to share. It is the first time I have ever put this story to print. I now have a huge favor to ask. Don’t be like Irv North and wait before it’s too late. Do something good for yourself and don’t put it off another day!!!

Live life with as few regrets as possible!

Love and peace,

Larry North

In the “new” economy, stress levels appear to be at an all time high. This certainly applies to most people under the age of 38. The truth is stress is stress regardless of what generation you were born but lets face it our parents for the most part had it much more difficult than us. In my organization young people make up the norm of my employee population. They have been raised in a new generation much different than generations before them. They cannot remember life before cell phones, laptops, internet, high def and high tech video games. They also have been brought up in a society with abundance. My father use to say that life at its best was still a struggle. I never have agreed with that statement but he did have a hard life. Most of that hard life was brought upon himself. Now his father was murdered, he grew up dirt poor but such is life. He chose to be a victim and as a result lived his entire life feeling sorry for himself and as if the world owed him something.

Lately everywhere you turn there seems to be a report in bad news. For example the stock market, housing, unemployment, layoffs, war, natural disasters and much more. Face it bad news sells! Everybody processes this information differently from person to person. We all handle the stress in our lives differently from person to person. I personally have witnessed a person completely coming unglued because they gained a few pounds or had a small fender bender, yet the very same person stayed calm while being informed of very tragic news such as a layoff or even a death of a loved one. I’m not a therapist and I do comprehend why this would be the case but I have also witnessed the complete opposite.

I took my first CPR training course in 1983 and will never forget lesion number 1 as long as I live. I have even applied this lesson to my personal and professional life. Lesson 1- In an EMERGENCY always remain calm and clear the room of people who are not! Irrational and frantic behavior only makes the situation worse. This is not to say I haven’t popped my own cork occasionally, after all I am a rather large and intense man but when my back is up against the wall I tend to stay calm and relaxed. When I do catch myself starting to feel sorry for myself I generally realize that there are many more people suffering at a much greater degree than me. There is a very old famous quote by an unnamed author ” I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes until I came upon a man with no feet”

With much practice I have learned to stop stressing over things that are completely out of my control such as all the things reported in the news or other peoples behavior or actions. I also know that doubling my efforts on the very things I can control will help minimize any potential setbacks or damage that surrounds me. By exercising, eating healthy, setting new goals, managing my time better and most importantly working on maintaining a positive attitude and staying happy is the true secret in handling stress. There is no question that we are all wired differently. Some people appear to not be able to be anything but pessimistic and negative. In all honesty I’m glad my CFO is that way but in spite of the way she is wired she chooses to be a happy person. Being HAPPY is a choice. It takes a lot of work to be happy and positive each and every day. I don’t want to sugar coat the fact that true happiness takes vision and hard work. It is a routine and a process that you talk yourself through on a daily basis. The reason it takes hard work and commitment to be happy is because when you take 2 steps forward it is easy to get knocked backwards on any give day I believe it may be difficult for some of you. It may take more work than you ever imagined with a huge payoff for you and your loved ones GREATER than you ever thought possible. Now it is your turn to stretch your emotional muscles farther than ever before and truly no longer sweat the small stuff.

Remember that your smile, laughter, confidence and tone of voice set the stage around you…

Have a wonderful June!

Larry North